Worst Best Man

There wasn’t much that went wrong during my wedding, if anything actually, it was almost perfect. If there is one thing I could change though, I would change my best man.

I chose my best man purely because we have been friends for such a long time, we are basically brothers. My parents basically raised him as one of their own cause he’s always been at my house for sleep overs and such. He’d spent entire holidays with us, we’d go on holidays together. We were pretty tight.

Recently though we’ve been taking different roads. We see life differently. We have different goals. We don’t have much in common. I stayed next door to him for almost 18 months but somehow we never really got to see each other, mainly because he worked the night shift and I worked a normal 9-5. But I would day this though, when we hung out, just me and him, we could chat for hours. That was always the cool thing.

At the wedding though, I had to warn him several times to not have any sex related stories in his speech cause my new father-in-law cannot stand it. My father-in-law would complain how pastors these days make sex jokes at weddings. We avoided a certain pastor just because of his jokes. So I beg and pleaded that my best man avoid the subject like the plague. He actually stuck to his word. Great! But he still managed to insult me, call me a pussy, a dry ass motherfucker.

Also I heard he wasn’t much help with planning the bachelors party. He was unavailable most of the time. My other friends called him the worst best man.

Yeah, not very cool if my best man. Our goals in life are not aligned anymore. I am happily married and he wishes to remain single and pursue his business dreams and try becoming a millionaire. I content with a comfortable life, financial independence and travelling to a couple of places on my bucket list.
So for those of you reading this and considering who to pick as your best man, just make sure you have a best man that can at least right a decent speech.

Still I appreciate what he has done for me. I still want him to be apart of my life even though I know there will be very little opportunities to hang out going forward.


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