There is a word in my native language that perfectly describes a person who is proud and holds themselves to a higher standard than other people but could also be a bad thing people think you think you are better than them. I looked for the translation and the best I could come up with was highbrowed or high-minded.
My wife and her sister appears this way to their cousins from both sides of their family. When both your cousins from your mom’s side of the family and your dad’s side of the family start calling you highbrowed, you tend to believe it.
This reminds me of a saying in one of my favorite movies, Lucky Number Slevin. “The first time someone calls you a horse you punch him on the nose, the second time some calls you a horse you call him a jerk but the third time someone calls you a horse, well then perhaps it’s time to go shopping for a saddle.”
I don’t think my wife is highbrowed. I think it’s just the way she was brought up that maybe gives the impression that she is highbrowed. Her mom would drill her into cleaning the house whenever they have guests over. She would clean the dishes about 3-4 times a day. When guests come over, she would have to get out the clean sheets, sweep and mop the floors, make sure everything in the house is spick and span.
She would also always be on her feet serving people hot and cold beverages and serving snacks and stuff. When the food is served, my wife would always be the last one to sit down to eat because she is making sure everyone else is sorted like bring the condiments, the spices and whatever beverage they’d want with their meal.
Her parents also don’t receive a lot of overnight guests. My wife’s aunts and uncles would rather stay at another of her aunt’s house instead of her mom’s house because of the rules and regulations of cleanliness at her mom’s house.
This Valentines weekend my parents and my sister are coming over. My niece might be going in for a minor surgery and she might also be baptized. I say might because it’s not a full blown conclusion as yet. My wife is very nervous about this weekend because she doesn’t know how to approach it. Does she do as she’s been taught all her life by her parents and try to keep the house clean or does she try and chill so that my parents don’t think she is highbrowed.
Whenever my parents used to come visit me they would all squat in my tiny studio apartment. I’d sleep on the couch, my sister, mom and niece would sleep on my bed and I had an air mattress for my dad. The last time we did that it was very uncomfortable for my dad and he swore it won’t ever happen again but my mom and sister feel comfortable at my place.
Since we got married my parents haven’t visited again and this time they booked themselves into a hotel room. My wife thinks they did that because of her. She thinks she is keeping my parents away. The more I tell her that our place is too small to accommodate them (we now live in a one bedroom apartment), the more she doesn’t believe me.
This weekend will be very nervy. I hope my parents don’t act weird because of her. They already like her and I don’t think that they are staying in a hotel room because of her. I just hope everything goes to plan. I can’t have my side of the family also thinking that she is highbrowed.
Thanks for reading. Until next time.