marriage

I’m Back and I’m an Idiot

It’s that time of the year again where everyone reflects on their lives and try to make an improvement. This year will be no different for me. I’m going to give this blogging thing another go just to realize later this year that I actually don’t have time to blog and fail miserably.

I’ve set a lot of goals last year and the main ones that I’m very happy about achieving was that I’ve kept track of all my income and expenditure. I make a budget every month though. When I received a bonus in August, I had so much money that I didn’t feel the need to keep checking my budget to make sure I’m still on track.

I’ve also managed to pass all my subjects in 2016. If all goes well I will graduate at the end of this year. Semester 4 has to go down as one of the toughest semesters. I just never had enough time to get everything done, but I still managed. I was ready to quit school twice. I got angry and upset with the school, especially with my Distributed Systems Programming lecturer (more on that on a later blog post).

Last year saw me change positions for the third year running. 2014 I was promoted from clerk to supervisor, 2015 I was promoted from supervisor to manager and in 2016 I switch from finance to IT and now I’m a computer analyst (or business and data analyst to be more specific). I got news about the switch to the new position in June but it only took effect in December. It was a very frustrating period in my career, but I’m happy to finally be in the field of IT.

No big no-no’s last year. Being married to my wife was smooth sailing most of the time. We hardly ever had any arguments. Our relationship is growing stronger and stronger with each passing day. We understand each other better. I’m mostly the guilty party when it comes to arguments because I show my anger a lot.

I didn’t get my driver’s permit last year, but I am starting to drive. I’m driving almost every day now. It’s just a matter of time before I do get my driver’s permit. Then I can share the driving load with my wife. She is a very impatient driver and gets stressed out a lot by traffic. If I can lighten that load on her end, she’ll be an even happier wife at home.

Last thing I’d like to mention before ending this post. I am the world’s biggest idiot. Last month I bought myself a new smart phone. I was very excited about this. I saw a video online of the same model phone as mine being submerged in water for a minute with no consequences at all, but there is no mention that the phone is waterproof or water-resistant by the phone manufacturer.

This past weekend my wife and I, together with her parents went camping. We went for a swim, I took my phone with me. I took a couple of selfies in the pool. I so badly wanted to take an underwater photo. My wife told me not to. I didn’t listen. As I came out the water, my phone was black. I put the phone in rice. When I turned it back on, the phone wasn’t reacting to any touches on the screen. Now I have to take the phone in for repair and hope it doesn’t cost me an arm and a leg to fix it. I am so upset with myself. WHY DID I NOT LISTEN TO MY WIFE? I think that’s not the last time I’ll be uttering those words this year.

Happy new year and thanks for reading.

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Oh damn, my parents are coming for the weekend

There is a word in my native language that perfectly describes a person who is proud and holds themselves to a higher standard than other people but could also be a bad thing people think you think you are better than them. I looked for the translation and the best I could come up with was highbrowed or high-minded.

My wife and her sister appears this way to their cousins from both sides of their family. When both your cousins from your mom’s side of the family and your dad’s side of the family start calling you highbrowed, you tend to believe it. (more…)

Please give me attention

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Ever since we got married I noticed that my wife would start complaining whenever I was doing something on my own at home while she was there as well. She wants me to sit with her whenever she is relaxing in front of the TV or just lying in bed.

In the beginning I had no issues with this. We are still in the honeymoon phase of our marriage and I wanted to spend time with her doing nothing. Now that the New Year has started and I’ve started setting goals and working towards those goals, I feel like I need some time on my own.

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The gift fund

After the fiasco of buying Mrs Lakendary’s friend a gift for her birthday, I told Mrs Lakendary we need to have a serious chat about gifts and how we are going to tackle it this year. She seemed a little hesitant but then I took initiative and created a list of people who will be getting gifts from the two of us for Christmas, birthdays, mothers and fathers day. She was pretty shocked at the length of the list and finally we got to talking.

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Marriage and Debt

No matter how hard you try to reduce your debt on your own, it’s pointless if your spouse isn’t doing the same. All your effort won’t be realized unless your spouse understand the importance of clearing debt, starting savings accounts and gaining interest instead of paying interest.

It was Mrs Lakendary’s friend birthday. We got a last minute message from her friend that she would celebrate her birthday at a restaurant and only invite her two closest friends. Since Mrs Lakendary’s friend is actually doing something for her birthday which she usually hasn’t in the past, we felt obligated to get her a gift.

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Marriage and Money

Last night Mrs Lakendary and I finally had a serious talk about finances after a month and a half of marriage.

Before we got married we sort of agreed that each will do with his/her money as they please. She knows I like to budget and track my money. She on the other hand has a budget but not as specific and she doesn’t follow it as strictly.

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She’s on her period – Day Two

Edit: I wrote this on the second day but never hit post. My bad.

Well, everything seems to be going well, surprisingly well. Too well in fact, I’m starting to prep myself for the big blow up.
Maybe I’m just over exaggerating the whole situation. Making a mountain out of a molehill if you will.
She used to complain a lot about her period pains when we were dating. The thing that has changed though is that she is taking the pill now. She wouldn’t dare to take the pill before because of the fear that her parents might find out she is sexually active.
Now she is all smiles. Like the period is a breeze. She is still at home on holiday while I’m at work. She unpacked our dirty clothes that we wore on vacation and did the laundry. She cleaned our place. She did grocery shopping and when I got home, she cooked dinner.
I’m quite surprised at how well she is taking this. A little disappointed cause there isn’t much to write about anymore. This 6/7 part series will probably have to be shortened to 3.
So the next time I write will about the total review of her first period as my wife unless something interesting does occur between now and the end of her period.
Until next time. Thanks for reading.

She is on her period – Day One

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It’s pretty messed up that I’m writing about my wife’s period but this is a major change in my life that I would have to get used to.
Previously, we stayed in separate places, me on my own and she with her parents. When she came over to my place for movie night (she mostly only came over for movie night, strict parents, what can I say) and she was on her period, she would just lie in bed and I would do everything else. I did not mind.
When my wife gets her period, it’s like the worst pains in the world. I don’t know how much the cramping hurts, but she at least takes 4 pain killers a day during those 6-7 days. I think it must be pretty intense.
So day 1. It started with her throwing up that morning. She’s been very nauseas these past couple of days. She has been throwing up the eve before Christmas. Her whole Christmas day was ruined. She could barely eat. On the 26th she was fine again, but on day 1 the throwing up started again.
I went to the pharmacy and got her something for the nausea, even made a her cup of warm water with sliced ginger, apparently it’s supposed to take the nausea away.
We traveled back home from our vacation spot. It was a 5 hour drive. She seemed to be fine. She doesn’t say much during the drive. Before the drive she did announce that she is on her period. So the throwing up isn’t morning sickness. Dodged a bullet there. Sjoe.
When we finally got back home, we didn’t even unpack. She just got into comfy clothes, made herself a warm bottle and lied on the couch for the rest of the night.
I tried to be there for her. I’d like cuddle up next to her to make her warm. Bring her anything she might ask. I even made dinner for us.
She got up and did the dishes on her own though. Usually I would dry the dishes and pack them away but she managed on her own.
Bedtime I cuddled some more. She seems to be happy. Doesn’t seem like this period thing is too bad. I can’t get laid, but these are small sacrifices I need to make.

Until next time. Thanks for reading.

Our first night part

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My wife has abandoned me! Well, not really, she is just on holiday without me…for now.
My wife works for the kind of people that close during the festive season. She hasn’t gone to work this whole December and probably won’t go for a week or two in January.
I on the other hand work for people don’t only close the doors on national holidays. The fact that Family Day/Boxing Day/26th of December falls on a Saturday makes it only worse.
My in-laws have planned a trip to the coast for the festive season. They are renting a house as from Tuesday till Monday morning. So my wife and her parents already traveled on Tuesday morning leaving me home alone.
My new brother-in-law is kind of a douche for lack of a better word. His wife (my wife’s sister), my wife and their mom wanted to all go to the coast together on Tuesday so they could have a day to bond. A mother-daughter bonding season and the men should only come as from the next day. My brother-in-law immediately said no. His wife is not traveling without him. No way in hell. I told my wife that this would be his response before they even asked him.
So when my wife and I returned from our honeymoon a couple of weeks ago and my mother-in-law asked us if my wife will be joining them this Tuesday, I said yes without hesitation because I didn’t want to be like my brother-in-law.
All I could look forward to while my wife was away was smoking some pot. She knows I smoke and she sometimes joins me. But I was a stoner at college. So one joint every two weeks isn’t really enough to satisfy my marijuana hunger. So I was planning to smoke at least every hour or so when I got home.
It was fun. I watched some TV. Smoked some weed. Had snacks ready. Even made me some margaritas. Took my clothes off in the living room and just threw my dirty clothes in a pile in the corner of the room. I was acting like a man who has been married for years and is finally on vacation from his nagging wife.
I’ve only been married for two weeks. I love my wife and she isn’t naggy…yet.
When the night drew to a close though I started feeling empty and sad. I started to miss my wife. I didn’t sleep so well that night. I woke up to a weird sound and took a while to get back to sleep again. She wasn’t there to lay her head on my chest or to hold tight. The double bed felt very large for a  230 pound 6’7″ guy like me. I miss my wife.
My told me today that she misses me too and could hardly sleep either. She kept feeling like someone else is in the room. We both agreed that it was a dumb idea to travel without each other. Maybe my brother-in-law isn’t such a douche after all. I still got a lot to learn.

Until next time. Thanks for reading.