Month: December 2015

She is on her period – Day One

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It’s pretty messed up that I’m writing about my wife’s period but this is a major change in my life that I would have to get used to.
Previously, we stayed in separate places, me on my own and she with her parents. When she came over to my place for movie night (she mostly only came over for movie night, strict parents, what can I say) and she was on her period, she would just lie in bed and I would do everything else. I did not mind.
When my wife gets her period, it’s like the worst pains in the world. I don’t know how much the cramping hurts, but she at least takes 4 pain killers a day during those 6-7 days. I think it must be pretty intense.
So day 1. It started with her throwing up that morning. She’s been very nauseas these past couple of days. She has been throwing up the eve before Christmas. Her whole Christmas day was ruined. She could barely eat. On the 26th she was fine again, but on day 1 the throwing up started again.
I went to the pharmacy and got her something for the nausea, even made a her cup of warm water with sliced ginger, apparently it’s supposed to take the nausea away.
We traveled back home from our vacation spot. It was a 5 hour drive. She seemed to be fine. She doesn’t say much during the drive. Before the drive she did announce that she is on her period. So the throwing up isn’t morning sickness. Dodged a bullet there. Sjoe.
When we finally got back home, we didn’t even unpack. She just got into comfy clothes, made herself a warm bottle and lied on the couch for the rest of the night.
I tried to be there for her. I’d like cuddle up next to her to make her warm. Bring her anything she might ask. I even made dinner for us.
She got up and did the dishes on her own though. Usually I would dry the dishes and pack them away but she managed on her own.
Bedtime I cuddled some more. She seems to be happy. Doesn’t seem like this period thing is too bad. I can’t get laid, but these are small sacrifices I need to make.

Until next time. Thanks for reading.

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Our first night part

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My wife has abandoned me! Well, not really, she is just on holiday without me…for now.
My wife works for the kind of people that close during the festive season. She hasn’t gone to work this whole December and probably won’t go for a week or two in January.
I on the other hand work for people don’t only close the doors on national holidays. The fact that Family Day/Boxing Day/26th of December falls on a Saturday makes it only worse.
My in-laws have planned a trip to the coast for the festive season. They are renting a house as from Tuesday till Monday morning. So my wife and her parents already traveled on Tuesday morning leaving me home alone.
My new brother-in-law is kind of a douche for lack of a better word. His wife (my wife’s sister), my wife and their mom wanted to all go to the coast together on Tuesday so they could have a day to bond. A mother-daughter bonding season and the men should only come as from the next day. My brother-in-law immediately said no. His wife is not traveling without him. No way in hell. I told my wife that this would be his response before they even asked him.
So when my wife and I returned from our honeymoon a couple of weeks ago and my mother-in-law asked us if my wife will be joining them this Tuesday, I said yes without hesitation because I didn’t want to be like my brother-in-law.
All I could look forward to while my wife was away was smoking some pot. She knows I smoke and she sometimes joins me. But I was a stoner at college. So one joint every two weeks isn’t really enough to satisfy my marijuana hunger. So I was planning to smoke at least every hour or so when I got home.
It was fun. I watched some TV. Smoked some weed. Had snacks ready. Even made me some margaritas. Took my clothes off in the living room and just threw my dirty clothes in a pile in the corner of the room. I was acting like a man who has been married for years and is finally on vacation from his nagging wife.
I’ve only been married for two weeks. I love my wife and she isn’t naggy…yet.
When the night drew to a close though I started feeling empty and sad. I started to miss my wife. I didn’t sleep so well that night. I woke up to a weird sound and took a while to get back to sleep again. She wasn’t there to lay her head on my chest or to hold tight. The double bed felt very large for a  230 pound 6’7″ guy like me. I miss my wife.
My told me today that she misses me too and could hardly sleep either. She kept feeling like someone else is in the room. We both agreed that it was a dumb idea to travel without each other. Maybe my brother-in-law isn’t such a douche after all. I still got a lot to learn.

Until next time. Thanks for reading.

Worst Best Man

There wasn’t much that went wrong during my wedding, if anything actually, it was almost perfect. If there is one thing I could change though, I would change my best man.

I chose my best man purely because we have been friends for such a long time, we are basically brothers. My parents basically raised him as one of their own cause he’s always been at my house for sleep overs and such. He’d spent entire holidays with us, we’d go on holidays together. We were pretty tight.

Recently though we’ve been taking different roads. We see life differently. We have different goals. We don’t have much in common. I stayed next door to him for almost 18 months but somehow we never really got to see each other, mainly because he worked the night shift and I worked a normal 9-5. But I would day this though, when we hung out, just me and him, we could chat for hours. That was always the cool thing.

At the wedding though, I had to warn him several times to not have any sex related stories in his speech cause my new father-in-law cannot stand it. My father-in-law would complain how pastors these days make sex jokes at weddings. We avoided a certain pastor just because of his jokes. So I beg and pleaded that my best man avoid the subject like the plague. He actually stuck to his word. Great! But he still managed to insult me, call me a pussy, a dry ass motherfucker.

Also I heard he wasn’t much help with planning the bachelors party. He was unavailable most of the time. My other friends called him the worst best man.

Yeah, not very cool if my best man. Our goals in life are not aligned anymore. I am happily married and he wishes to remain single and pursue his business dreams and try becoming a millionaire. I content with a comfortable life, financial independence and travelling to a couple of places on my bucket list.
So for those of you reading this and considering who to pick as your best man, just make sure you have a best man that can at least right a decent speech.

Still I appreciate what he has done for me. I still want him to be apart of my life even though I know there will be very little opportunities to hang out going forward.

First bump in the road

Good day readers. It’s a funny way to start a blog post, but what the hell, I’m doing it anyway. So according to my last blog post I stated that I would give an update on our argument or disagreement yesterday already, but things didn’t work out like they were supposed to, so here I am today. Sorry for the wait.
First things first I just want to clarify that we didn’t actually have a verbal spat or anything close to that. I just felt disappointed and decided to keep my feelings to myself. My wife did notice that my mood has changed and kept asking “What’s the matter?”  but I gave nothing away, stating that I was okay the entire time until we later got home and friends of hers came over so I had to act friendly and happy in front of our guests. As soon as her friends left (newlywed couple as well, I was forced to make nice with the guy even though I didn’t want to, but more on that in future blog posts) I forgot all about the problem and we went back to be a loving couple.
Okay so Lakendary, what did you feel disappointed about? Well, it was money. BIG SURPRISE. I know. A little bit of history first. The thing is this, my wife’s employers decided to give her money as a wedding gift. This was a big sum of money, almost as much as my monthly salary. The money has obviously been paid into her bank account so she is kind of in control of this money.
We’ve discussed what we should spend this money on. She sort of wants something tangible, something she can see and point out like, there, this is what my bosses gave us as a wedding present. I suggested that we can settle all of our short-term debts and live a little more comfortably from month to month, even save a little. We soon came to a compromise and said we would spend half the money on settling debt and the other half on something tangible.
My wife’s first choice was nice outside furniture. We have this big courtyard that’s looking a bit empty. We had a look around and came up with a couple of options. We discussed our options with our mothers and they both thought that we were being outlandish. We shouldn’t spend that much money on outside furniture. Rather get the cheap plastic stuff. I mean we are just starting out. It’s all a bit too much too soon. Fair enough. So we were convinced that we are going for the cheap plastic furniture (but not too cheap that it breaks quickly) and other small things around the house. I still have my microwave from college but my wife thinks it’s old and ugly. We should replace that. Cool. I think we need a DVR cause sometimes all the good shows play at times when we aren’t home or awake. Cool.
Back to the day in question. My wife and I went shopping for the furniture and the microwave (and maybe a digital camera because we realized on our honeymoon that camera phone photos aren’t all that great). As soon as we identified which outside furniture we were going to get my wife kind of got tired of being in the mall or something because after we got back from the ATM she said we should leave the other things for another day. I got the feeling that she didn’t want to spend the money. We were at the stores. If we wanted a microwave, why not get it now?
I felt helpless. I felt like she had all the control over the money. She got her furniture and I didn’t get any cool gadgets like the camera or a DVR. So in my mind, I made up my mind that the rest of that money it’s hers. Even though the money is supposed to be for us, our wedding gift, it was paid over to her into her bank account. And if there are any gadgets or cool electronics that I want, I was going to have to save up for it myself and get it myself without any assistance from my wife.
At the wedding, in my dad’s speech he mentioned that I was money savvy and that when he gave my sister and me money to go spend at a particular place, I would always come back with some money while my sister wouldn’t. Even when we planned the wedding, I was always the one looking at the budget, getting upset that we are blowing the budget. So my wife knows I very budget conscious. She also sticks to a budget but not as much as I do. So when we were discussing how we would be handling our money, we agreed that there are certain expenses I pay and certain expenses she pays and after that we spend the money as we please.
Right now I almost have no money left. She still has a big chunk of her salary left from last month, the wedding money we got, her Christmas bonus and she just received her salary for this month as well (a couple of weeks early). I feel poor while my wife is rolling in the dough. I have too much pride to ask her for money. I don’t want my ego to get in the way but I really feel helpless at this point. I won’t say a thing, which is probably the wrong thing to do, but that’s just me though. I don’t think my stubbornness would ever change.
So what is my plan? I am not too sure. I am just going to keep track of my money like I always have. Maybe even be a little tighter. Stop going out, stop paying for take-out and hopefully have a healthy bank balance to buy a PS4, fuck the DVR. I’m going big.
PS. I passed my first year of studies. One year down, two to go. I can’t wait to start my career in computer science rather than finance.
Until next time. Thanks for reading.

We are married!!!

Yup, its been a week since we got married and things are going great so far.
I don’t want to share everything in one post. Give a few details here and there.
The wedding was awesome. I thought I would be nervous but I wasn’t at all. Everything went smoothly except for the rain. We had an outside wedding. Meaning the ceremony and the reception was outside. We had a tent for the ceremony and the reception was in a round building with a big hole in the middle. Our table was supposed to be in the middle but it had to be moved once the rain started.
I wasn’t too worried about the rain, I was enjoying myself too much but my beautiful bride wasn’t so calm. She was worried about the guests disappearing as well as our wedding party. But everything worked out for the best and I think all of our guests had a great time. We’ve only heard good things about the wedding. We received a lot of compliments and lots of gifts too.
My wife and I had an amazing honeymoon and things are very rosey thus far… except for yesterday. More on that tomorrow.

Until next time. Thanks for reading.

Frustration

We are getting very close to the end and with each passing hour my fiancé is just getting more and more frustrating.

Late last night she tried to call me. I was in the living room watching TV and my phone was on charge and the washing machine was making noise as well. So I couldn’t hear my phone ring. When I got up to just check on it, to my surprise I saw 3 missed calls from my fiancé.

I knew I was in trouble because just last week Thursday I had a very bad day at work and also left my phone to charge in the bedroom while I went out to get pizza. She was very upset that day but I did the right thing and apologized at least 10 times even though I was having a terrible day and was just looking to catch a break.

Fast forward back to last night and I started apologising again. She was upset at first and wouldn’t really say why she called but I did manage to force it out of her. She found a scripture that the pastor should read when he is giving his surdom at the church. I read the scripture over the phone and told her I liked it. She seemed to calm down and confessed that the wedding planning is getting to her and bringing her down.

Today I told her that there is no point to go to the wedding venue for the rehearsal if the pastor isn’t there cause he was supposed to tell us what to do and how to do it. The venue is 38 km (about 24 miles) outside of town. She didn’t see it my way and got upset with. At this point I just felt it’s a waste of money to drive all the way there and was having none of it. She again confessed that she is getting frustrated and apologized.

This time I just ignored. I know I’m wrong and I’m supposed to support her and be there for her, but I just had enough. I’m gonna smoke a blunt and relax. Fuck the frustration.

Edit:
This post didn’t upload when I hit the post button. So after I smoked a doobie I was much more relaxed and started chatting to Ms O. She visited one of her friends who recently got a baby. Her friend can’t make the wedding this weekend so she gave Ms O our wedding gift. Ms O opened it yesterday, I said it was cool if she wanted to open it. We got cooking bowls and kitchen stuff. It’s kinda cool.

Until next time. Thanks for reading.